I am currently a banker (though I don't know for how long) but I want to write screenplays or comic books.

The biggest difference between a banker and a member of society is that a banker will definitely have crapped at work today. A twelve-hour working day is two full cycles of the bowel: I defy anyone, even on a diet of reimbursed noodles and cigarettes, to go more than a couple of days without resorting to the office toilets, unless they are important enough to lunch and crap away from their desk.

Even urination at work is a cause for great worry. If your boss vacates a urinal stall just as you arrive, do you take his stall? Seems like you love him too much. Do you choose another, and imply that he has smelly urine and sheds pubic hairs? The decision has to be made while he dries his hands, as CEOs are known for their periferal vision, and if he turns for the door and sees you dither he will rightly infer that you are an idiot.

This is a great picnic, though, compared to the inevitable crap that has to be factored into the day. Here, the bogeyman is noise from the intestines. You can either wait for absolute solitude - probably more rare in a bank than in other offices, for the reasons mentioned above - or you can time your output to coincide with the hand dryer operated by strangers. The strangers, though, are less than reliable, and sometimes opt for a paper towel, thus failing to cover up a monstrous explosion followed by an even worse prolonged venting, like the door of a bus.