Much as it pains me to say this, being of the school of laissez-faire when it comes to interior design, the patterns of your child's curtains is the single most important factor in the child's upbringing. My curtains were deep red, a red that faded as I grew (or was it my dulling imagination returning less vivid results?), with white geese with yellow beaks.

When I was still young enough to go to bed before the sun, the first and final minutes of each day would be spent staring at the upside-down geese and the deep red between them. The space would take on exciting and weird shapes reminiscent of things I had seen that day. Often I saw Darth Vader's helmet loitering under a goose's neck, or a red crown between its feet.

I would also try to draw lines that went through all their eyes, bills or wingtips, but could never find the right diagonal. I am convinced that struggling to do so made me smarter, and I think all parents should choose curtains that don't quite work. Or plain curtains: the creases will be different every day, and will inspire a freeform child, who sees the world as a blank canvas.