Found this in Vice magazine:

Everyone was calm for a while. Then the drunk man said, “I am going to kill everyone here. Is everyone okay with that? Is everyone in this cell okay with that? Let’s get our word on that, okay? Raise your hand if you’re okay with this.” He touched the skinny Hispanic. The skinny Hispanic stood with an angry facial expression and said, “Don’t hit me. Don’t hit me.” The bald Caucasian stood in front of the drunk man. The bald Caucasian had an angry facial expression. The police took the drunk man out of the cell. From outside the cell he screamed at the skinny Hispanic and the bald Caucasian, who was short and fat. He screamed at bald Caucasian, “You are never working in the union again.” The bald Caucasian said, “Union? What the fuck are you talking about? I’m a drug dealer about to go away for a long time.”

The police were holding the drunk man. “Where’s your union now, bitch?” said the bald Caucasian. The police put the drunk man in another cell. “I get in a stupid bar fight and I’m covered in blood,” screamed the drunk man. “And I’m the one in jail. What about the other guy?”

“I thought you were in Starbucks?” said a cop.

“I was taking a shit in Starbucks and I came out and some guy hits me,” said the drunk man. “I was in Starbucks. You don’t believe me? I was in fucking McSorley’s, the oldest bar… you motherfuckers. This isn’t fair.”